I’m Julia, a dog trainer from the deep south of New Zealand — where the wind’s horizontal, the sheep are judgmental, and the dogs are unionised.

I specialise in turning chaos goblins into furry little balls of joy, without ironing out the sass and sparkle. I can help you to understand that your dog may not be as much of a jerk as you think! No question is ever a dumb question, we all gotta learn things somehow!?

I cut my teeth working with foster dogs for over 8 years— shy noodles, spicy meatballs, full-blown gremlins — so I don’t scare easy. That’s how I came to find my 2 hugest emotional blackmailers: Chevvy, the queen and my entire world, and Colt, a handsome idiot whose brain occasionally goes walkabout. Occasionally they tag along for the ride, earn their keep and keep me humble. These guys are my daily inspiration, but also the hugest pains in my ass. Its their gorgeous faces that you see in the logo for this circus.

I use science-based training with plain-English translations, bribes your dog would sell you for, and the occasional diplomatic “oi.” No macho nonsense, no shocky-zappy crap — just timing sharper than a frost and rewards that slap harder than a nor’wester. Whether its a dog that you got as a pup cos its the breed you’ve always wanted, or a rescue dog that stole your heart from a post on social media or a weekend stroll at the Dogs Refuge, I got you boo!

If you’ve got a pup who tows like a tractor, messes up the house like a petulant 3 year old, or treats recall like a fun optional side quest? Lovely. That’s my kink. We’ll swap the “oh, for f—’s sake” for “well, would ya look at that.”

Book in, bring your butthead, and an open mind. We’re about to make good choices feel illegal.